The Devil dressed in the "one SOURCE of TRUTH"

I hear you ALL… my children have being out of school for 18 months, without exemption, it’s being a 2 year journey from dark depths, into the light, and plunging back and forth.

I should be at Manurewa High right now, where Jacinda is strutting around, looking down on all her masked up confirmers and rejoicing in her mastery over the masses… steering at the death sentences that kneel before her, waiting for her praises to be blessed upon them, waiting for the next carrot to follow…

However, today, when I should be standing with other frustrated parents, calling out, speaking on behalf, asking her questions and getting answers I’m at home…

Because today, for some reason only God knows, today I woke a shell of myself, a broken shell, who had she have turned up, likley wouldn’t have portrayed a very calm strength of support or voice for those who were relying on me to do so.

Today I also mourned the mountain and life contained on and in it, that I birthed my babies under.  With Rahui in place and community members armed with cease and desists, and a strong defence DoC blanketed Te Moehau, our life force with government made 1080.

Today I had to smell the chlorine in the water back in the city where I currently reside before placing my babies in it to wash them.

Today I had to grapple with not protecting my family from poison attacks at every angle, while all of us currently get over the latest strain of whatever is floating around, likely to have shedded from those who are taking  multiple shots of who knows what, who have no idea… because it’s being ensured that a psychological warfare tactic was deployed to ensure our governments single source of truth was eaten up en masse.

Today as a freedom fighter I felt I let the team down, and today as a mother could find no light through the darkness of not delivering all I promised when I welcomed them earthside.

Today if I turned up, it would have being with hate, anger, rage… I’m sure the media would have had a field day filming a crazy, irrational “anti-vaxxer” “fear mongering” “conspiracy theorist” and I’d probably of end up arrested on some woke charge that the government had created with the use of operating NZ under an emergency response act.

So today, I work on picking up those pieces shattered on the floor, knowing any words or action I had taken today would not have got me an audience with our self proclaimed strong, independent, young woman leader (in fact we share the exact same birthday 26/7/1980). 

She would not have seen me as fighter, a mother, a carer, a woman carrying a nations sorrow on her shoulders.

She would express pity and cast an all mocking eye on me, a smug righteous grin… why?  Because those who are above her, her puppeteers, tell her she is doing a “great job” her weakness masked by the words of those above her, grooming, and conditioning her….

To never be the broken mess on the floor of broken promises and hopes and dreams, feeding her with self serving praise and adorning her with all she desires to reach the top… a top reached by eating every carrot fed to her along the way.

She will fail to realise or see the beautiful strong sisterhood behind me, down on the floor beside me, holding space, and healing my inner wounds, providing a pillow in their hearts and holding me in love… so I can once again rise to meet my purpose and the challenges I face along the way, I may stumble at times  but I will only fall 2 steps back from the 3 taken forward.

I will get up and fight again, I have genuine love, care, light and a tribe of Wahine to ensure I’m never left behind.

I have a Tane, beside me, struggling at times with the woman I’m becoming, a woman with a voice, with passion, with faith, with purpose, a path to lead that has no map, no plans, he has to pick up the pieces where my energy lacks and is diverted, roles switched, while together we try to understand each other in these new emerging times, our place in the home, in life, in the universe… but he is at the table, no matter how many times I dismiss him from it.

Two years of battling the bullshit system that believes they have a right to my children, that by law are meant to be in an institution, to enable me to work in order to pay a system, I do not identify with, that does not serve me, nor I it!!

The journey to standing in alignment with my beliefs, what I promised my children the day they came earthside has being a battle.

Today… I hit a wall, or the bottom, carrying the sorrow of a nations parents in the same trench.

We bare witness to the destruction this government has allowed, signed us up to, and deployed on all our nearest and dearest.

We have found new tribes of collective consciousness, serving our time in the trenches alongside them, bearing witness to their sorrow, pain, fight, strength.

We watch on as our nations people are slaughtered, our lands decimated, our skies filled with lies, sprinkling down over all below.

We battle to retain our faith, our belief in humanity to see each other through to salvation.

We fall down in states of hopelessness as the next phases roll out one on top of the other, over and over and over, wearing us down.

Our new tribes with collective vibes hold space for us, while we dance between 2 worlds, struggling with low vibe fear and panic and then stepping back to hope and renew, however, we do not get take out lost friends and family with us, it’s a journey only they can take. We need to watch and guide only but we can not walk their path for them, we can not respond with fear, anger, grief, hate, we can only open the door to let the shine out and hold it reaches them.

We go into battle, a thankless task at times, but we do it for the love of those lost, sleeping, programmed, remaining on the stage of life that is prepared for them by the devil in single source clothes.

Our realities are chipped away at, piece by piece as the veil lifts, you can not go back once you have seen or know what you now know.

You have moments where you wish you could just have one more day in ignorant bliss, but you now know to much to even pretend to enjoy time with those still sleeping, old favourites who you use to laugh, dance and sing with… because you know it’s all just a stage show, you can’t relate, but you find some solace in the fact they remain in ignorant bliss.

We know what we know and we can never go back to pretending, performing, playing our old role.

We are outcasted from all we knew, get togethers come with rules and no go discussion topics, we are outcast from groups long before we are aware we were considered a liability, crazy, a danger to society.

Our families, our friends, our work colleagues indoctrinated into a divide and picking a side of history they believed they would be safe, cared for, entitled to life and participation in that life… they just had to abide by a few rules and conform and everything they knew and had would continue on its path…. They also had to align with that one source of truth… and ensure non conformists were cast out, disposed of, forgotten about.

A single source of truth so powerful it was as if the devil itself, dressed in Gods costume, had arrived for their very souls with a promise of salvation…. Only if they follow the carrot dangled in front of them... and the next and then next.

Many of us know this a war not to be won with swords, and blood shed, hell has resided on earth and dug it’s roots in to a deep state of comfort, of ego, of greed. It claws away at the tail strings of those attempting to break out of their hell loop, casting doubt, testing faith, injecting repetitive fear.

It spits venomous tyrannical words of control, divide, it invites hate and conflict to reside on its shores, it breaks you, then it nurses you…then repeats.

So today, I say with love and grace and conviction, I will continue to rise to my purpose, I will continue to walk my path, and will keep on keeping on… today I rest and heal and regain the hope I lost, I may re-visit the version of myself broken on the floor, but I know, in my heart of hearts, in my soul that LOVE in its purest rawest form in the LIGHT will ALWAYS prevail.